School Lunches, Slurping and Permission to Taint Society *unedited

Winter vacation officially ends Friday and the students are back in school for the closing ceremonies starting next Monday so today a vast majority of the teachers were back in school preparing for the next two weeks. It was also the first day I had seen another soul in the school besides the security guard. I wish somebody had warned me.

For the past two weeks because I have been alone on campus and just sitting at my desk for 8 hours, I took that as an okay for me to dress comfortably. Comfortably = sweatpants, spandex pants, t-shirts, sweatshirts, pretty much anything that could be considered gym attire. Today I assumed that once again I would be alone in my office, surfing the web, watching Korean dramas, Facebook chatting anybody possible and doing other mindless tasks to help pass the time, so I wore what I would later wear to the gym, black spandex pants and a black under armor long sleeve. Both of which look as if the are PAINTED on my body.

I get to school and begin my routine of web surfing and nonsense when there is a knock at my office door. In walks in one of my coworkers, Mr. Nice Guy. I was very surprised to see him but grateful that I had somebody to chit chat with for a while to help pass the time. He informed me that today the teachers and Principals would be eating lunch together and I was to join. I did not think anything of it at the time and when noon came around, I joined the staff in the short walk to the restaurant.

I arrive at the place first with Mr. Nice Guy. He is the sole coworker who was confident enough in his English to speak to me, let alone sit with me. We take a seat (on the floor) in the middle of 1 of 3 tables. As the rest of the other teachers file in they all sit eventually leaving us alone at our table. I wasn't surprised or offended, being stuck sitting next to me probably sucks as much as it does when I am stuck seated between people who do not speak English. Last to walk in was the Principal, Vice Principal and two other male staff members. They all took seats at my table.

The restaurant has the floor heating on so I quickly get to the point where my coat was making me uncomfortably warm. I get up, take off my coat and hang it on the coat rack. As I am making my way back to my seat I then realize what I was wearing but it was too late, I could feel the eyes on me. If my coworkers didn't know I was blessed with a chest and plenty of butt, they do now. I sat down and attempted to avoid making eye contact with the men at my table, hoping that nobody would say anything. Of course that didn't happen.

Mr. Nice Guy: "You go to the gym?"
Me: "Yes, everyday"
*he translates to everybody else*
MaleS (in unison) : "AHHHHHHH"


I sit there with the worst posture I could manage, my shoulders are thrown as far forward as they could possible go in an attempt to push my boobs back. Until till today, my school attire has always been body minimizing. Of course I can't hide all of what I got, but I have been able to tone it down quite a bit. The food arrives and the men go around teaching me the names of the different side dishes and what I should eat what with ( they made a sincere effort to include me in the conversation the entire meal). The main dish is a beef soup. Everybody begins to eat.

All staff members: "SLURP, SLURP, SLURPPPPPP."
Me:

Slurping is a common practice in Korea. I have heard it enhances the flavor of soups. I have also heard when people slurp it means what they are eating is delicious. I do not slurp. I wasn't allowed to slurp growing up, I was raised on very strict Western table manners. No slurping, no chewing with my mouth open, no smacking, no slouching. You name it, my Mom enforced it. My first few months in Korea were especially hard when I ate out. I was irked by the mannerism, it was something I wasn't used to. Now I am not bothered at all. I am used to the slurping and smacking, they no longer bother me, I just continue on eating in silence. Today my silence drew unwanted attention my way.

Principal: "You don't like?"
Me: "I love it, it is very good."

I continue to eat, quietly.

Mr. Nice Guy: "Do you want something different?"
Me: "No I like this."

I continue to eat and realize that they are all watching me with worried looks on their faces. The soup really was good and I did really like it, but I don't think they believed me. The looks were making me uncomfortable. The normal conversation came to a halt, I was being eyed from every corner and I was getting nervous. Remembering all of the things I learned about slurping told me to do it. But I wasn't sure how, I was afraid I'd slurp too hard and choke or slurp too softly and have it dribble down my chin. Eventually the silence and the looks got under my skin so tried to slurp. My first attempt did nothing, I didn't even make a noise. So I tried again this time sucking a bit harder.

It was quiet but I had did it, I slurped.

I only did it to see if it would make them stop worrying about me and it did. Once I did it, they seemed to relax, so I did it again and again, eventually perfecting my slurp. Soon after they stopped the looks and the normal conversation picked up. Slurping, didn't enhance the flavor of my soup but it did apparently communicate that my soup was delicious.

Towards the end of the meal the men started to speak about me in Korean. I knew they were talking about me because I could pick out a few words they were saying and they were openly looking at me as they spoke. I sat there waiting for the translation, hoping there would be one. Finally there was a break in the conversation and I was served a very nice compliment.

Mr. Nice Guy: "We think you will find a husband very very quickly. You have wonderful face, you good teacher, very very kind and good S-line(S-Line means I am curvy). Remember, Korean men are good men so find Korean man. Please invite us to your wedding party."

I was a tad uncomfortable hearing from my bosses that I had a nice body but I was extremely flattered they felt me good enough to find and marry a good Korean man and taint the "pure" Korean society.


#CHEERS2SLURPINGANDTAINTING

Korean Men

Anybody that has lived in Korea knows that I could conclude this blog with one word, BEAUTIFUL.
Up until probably the day that I left San Diego to move here I was still torn on whether Korea was really the country that I wanted to teach in. I was debating between Thailand and Korea for months on end but the moment I was set to board my plane in San Francisco on a direct flight to Seoul I knew I had made the right decision because standing at the gates checking tickets was the most attractive man I had ever seen, (He has been trumped quite a few times since I have been here). He was none other than of Korean decent and the beginning of my slight obsession.

I have a natural attraction to Asian men. I am not sure exactly why, it could be because I grew up in a community highly concentrated with Asians or maybe I was influenced by all of the Asian cartoons and Asian martial arts movies I watched as a child but something has drawn me to favor them over other races. And upon moving here, Korean men have quickly ascended to the top as my specific flavor of choice.

In my eyes Korean men have the advantage over other Asian races for  3 reasons. 
1- they are on average, taller.
2-they have AMAZING hair (if i have a Korean baby that child will be blessed)
3- and many of them have thick thighs (this is the icing on the cake).

Sometimes when I am out I feel as if I am dreaming. Everywhere I turn I am surrounded by  K-POP star look-a-likes (photo examples are the end of the blog). Not only are they endowed with flawless faces and messy but yet some how perfectly styled hair, Korean men have impeccable style. From the tailored business suit wearing men who go against the traditional black shiny shoes and wear matte brown to the "I just threw this together but somehow STILL look runway ready" to the "I wear bright colored Nikes with every outfit and yet STILL make it fashionable" or whatever their style may be, someway or another they always look good. I am constantly getting caught by my friends eye raping every Korean male in my vicinity or getting left behind because I was distracted by a man who we had just walked passed. But even after all the admiration I have yet and probably will never make a move.

If somebody was asked to describe me, the last word out of their mouth would be shy. Before coming to Korea I had not been shy a single day in my life, especially when it came to men. That was easy, being turned down did not frighten me, I knew it wouldn't kill me so I didn't fear it. But here in Korea, I still know it won't kill me but I am complete incapable of functioning. Around Korean men I am like a school girl, the simplest things out of their mouths make me blush furiously. I don't care if it is just our waiter taking an order or somebody ringing me up at the convenience store, my brain goes to mush. Maybe its the perfect swoop in their hair or the disappearing eyes when they smile or the fact that they may or may not speak English,  whatever it is something there intimidates me.

So here I am living in my ideal world, in my ideal situation (surrounded by men who I am attracted to) unable to gather enough guts to do anything.

#CHEERS2BEINGCHICKENSHIT
 


PS: after a little liquid courage I was finally able to make a move ^^