Alone but NOT lonely

"Do you have a boyfriend?"  The most common question asked to me since moving to Korea. But what is worse than being asked that question frequently is the response I get when I say no.

Korea is the land of couples. Foreigners and Koreans alike. It is as if people move here an immediately seek out companionship and those that grow up here latch on to another as soon as they hit dating age. 

I find that Korea has somehow found away to devalue the glory of being single.  Unlike back home, people here (Koreans and non Koreans) express pity towards me when they find out I am single, often offering to set me up on dates or wanting to go out with me so they can help me meet somebody special. When did being single go out of style? At first, I was fine having the "I'm single" conversation but the unwanted pity, advice and questions prying into my personal life have begun to irritate me.

Responses from people when they find out I am single                           What respond with in my mind
"Oh, no boyfriend. so sad, are you lonely?"                                                -No I have this person who                                                                                                                                                      is always around, myself.

"Why don't you have a boyfriend?"                                                             -I think they ran out of my size

 "But you're pretty"                                                                                         -And that matters...how?


Something about living in Korea has given people the belief that being single is only being half of a person and that you NEED somebody to make you complete.

I am not against relationships or falling in love. My last relationship was great and I do not harbor any negative feelings even though it has ended. I am not that bitter person who hates love and anything of the sort because things didn't work out for me. In fact, I am in love. I love being single.

There is nothing negative about being single. Being single allows me the freedom to do what I want when I want to. I do not have to consider another's feelings or preferences in any of my decisions.  If I want to spend all of Sunday unshowered, in my pajamas, eating ice cream out of the carton or go out drinking and partying all night long, there is nothing stopping me. I can spend hours exercising, watching sports, reading books, lying in bed doing nothing with out worrying about sharing my free time with another. Being single has never once held me back, rather it has been beneficial. I often think, if I were in a relationship before I had come to Korea, would I still have made the move?

Being single also make it 100 percent okay for me to be selfish and think about MY wants, MY needs and MY desires. Once a person gets in a relationship you lose that, you begin putting the other before yourself. Your wants, your needs and your desires become THEIR wants, THEIR needs and THEIR desires. And at the age of 24, there is no way in hell I am ready to do that.

I get asked often if I ever get lonely. No, never. Not once. Not a single day of my life. Lonely? I LOVE being alone. I probably love it more than is healthy.  I never feel the need for companionship. If I want to do something and none of my friends want to go, then I will go alone. I have traveled the world, gone to concerts, movies, theme parks, sporting events, festivals and a variety of other things by myself and have never once felt lonely or any self pity.

I know there are those that are reading and thinking that something along the line of  "I don't know what I am missing," or "that when you find the one, nothing else is better" and yes, I believe that completely, but I am not ready to give up what I have now. If the day comes when Shemar Moore or Daniel Henney realize that I am the one for them, I will welcome it with open arms. But until then, I am going to continue on happily, alone BUT definitely not lonely.


#CHEERS2BEINGSINGLE

What my parents have done to me.

As most people do or did, at one point in my life  I honestly believed that my parents were both off their rockers. I can't say that this belief is completely in the past but as I have grown older I have come to realize that  maybe they aren't. Unfortunately, I didn't come to this realization in a mature "I am older and understand why they are the way they are" way,  my opinion has changed for one reason and one reason only, I am just like them.

My Dad is Mr. Know It ALL. He can not be wrong (or so he thinks). He has this saying that he is constantly telling my siblings and I, "I've forgot more than you know." REALLY Dad, you have forgotten 23 years of knowledge but yet you STILL know it all?  It is even worse when he uses that line against my older siblings who hover around 40 years old.

So, to sum up my Dad, 
 Dad - 40 years of knowledge = still knowing it all.

And then my Mom. She is all about catch phrases. She ALWAYS pairs a proverb or a saying with ANY lecture or point she is trying to prove. A few examples: "Comprende?" "Do as I say, not as I do." and "All that glitters is not gold." (I could go on for pages)  How weird is it that my Mom has a saying for EVERYTHING? I always wondered if she would read a book of proverbs before bed every night because this woman has never run out of material and has raised children who are TWICE my age. No matter what situation I was in, what I was getting lectured on or being given advice about there was a catch phrase included.

So, to sum up my mom,
Mom = proverbs x ∞ (infinity) 

And like any normal child, I swore up and down I would NEVER be like my parents. I would not think I knew all there is to know and I would not makes points using quotes that date back to Little House on the Prairie days.

And then I grew up and became exactly like them.

All it took was one sentence for me to realize,

"You lie in the bed you make, you should have listened to me, I'm always right."

As soon as those words left the tip of my tongue it dawned on me, I am the perfect blend of my parents. All the years of of swearing off their ways were gone. I have always been able to see the similarities between my friends and their parents and I thought I had escaped it.  I thought I was the one who broke the chain of inheritance, the one who was DIFFERENT.

But I guess my Mom is right, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree."


#CHEERS2BEINGACHEERS



I love my parents and would be lost with out them...and their ways.